


On Broken Noses

by backpackbagel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anniversary, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Secret Relationship, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backpackbagel/pseuds/backpackbagel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Steve and Tony are lovey-dovey secret lovers, and Tony isn’t too happy when Steve wants to miss their two-year-anniversary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Broken Noses

**Author's Note:**

> The Avengers never really happened in this one. Set sometime after Iron Man 2.

Tony was a catch, right? He was handsome. He was a genius. He was rich – _really_ rich. People all over the world would kill to get one night with him. Narcissistic or not, he liked to think he was a catch.

So he wondered why he felt like his boyfriend was embarrassed of him.

He lay in bed, curiously watching his blonde partner pace back and forth, talking on the phone.

“I _told_ you, I’m on a business tri— Yes, I _am_ talking in a hushed tone – I’m in a hotel. I don’t want to wake up the other guests—“ Tony stretched his feet out as he watched Steve argue. Steve noticed his movements and sent him a warm smile and mouthed ‘sorry’ before turning back to the phone, “I’ll be back on Sunday—No, I can’t come back earlier, I—Oh? _Oh_.” As Steve listened to the voice on the phone he sat down next to the lounging Tony and idly stroked his hair. “I guess I’ll get back a little early then—“ Tony nudged him and made a face.

Steve was _not_ going to miss the romantic anniversary date Tony had planned out. Steve made a motion to the phone irritably and Tony mouthed, “date.” Steve pinched his forehead and looked at Tony with remorse, shaking his head. Tony frowned and smacked him with a pillow.

“Wha—No, no, I’m not talking with anyone. I tripped over a suitcase—Fine, I’ll be there, but you owe me one. I’m going to lose a lot of overtime.” Tony swatted Steve’s caressing hand away. “Fine. Yeah. Bye.” He hung up and looked at Tony, who was pouting as visibly as he could. “Tony, I—“

“Nope, not talking to you,” Tony said, rolling over to the other side of the bed.

Steve crawled over to him, but Tony turned away. “I have to go.”

“It’s our anniversary.”

“I know. I’ll make it up to you – I promise.”

Tony shot him a look. Steve got out of everything with puppy dog eyes and a promise, and he was _not_ going to let that happen this time. He tried to get out of bed, but Steve pulled him back in. “Babe, don’t be mad.”

“I’m going to be mad. I think I have every right to be mad,” Tony replied, trying futilely to break free from Steve’s strong grasp.

“I know, but they haven’t seen me in months. They’re mad, too.”

“They?”

“Old friends.”

“You’re blowing off our anniversary date to meet up with old friends," Tony replied with disbelief.

“Tony, please,” Steve complained. “I spend every waking minute I’m not working with you. And it’s not like you haven’t blown me off for anything—“

Tony sat up. “You know that’s different. I have work stuff. I _have_ to go do that.”

“Didn’t stop me from spending my birthday alone.”

Tony sighed. “How long are you going to use that against me? You know I still feel bad. Who schedules all-day meetings on the fourth of July?” He paused, regarding Steve’s pleading face. “ _Fine_ , go. But I’m still not going to be happy about it. Now will you let me go so I can brush my—“

Steve’s eyes lit up, as if he suddenly had a bright idea. “Do you want to come with me?”

“What?”

“To meet my friends, I mean. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I mean, I’m sure you’ll probably find them boring, but—”

“Are you serious?”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Why are you so surprised?”

“Well, ever since we got together, you’ve always been all over the complete secrecy thing. Sometimes I realize that I know nothing about you. Hell, you could be married with kids and I’d have no idea.”

Steve chuckled. “I’m not hiding a secret family from you. Unless you count my friends. They’re the _only_ family I’ve got, you know—”

“Here comes the guilt trip. What’s the real reason?”

“I just—I don’t know. You might find them, boring, maybe.”

Tony snorted. “I won’t find them boring. It already interests me enough as to why they hang out with you.” Steve feigned a hurt expression. “Okay, I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he said, kissing Steve’s forehead. “I’ll go.”

 

 

“This is your place, huh?” Tony asked as they stepped into Steve’s apartment in Brooklyn. “We could’ve stayed at my tower.”

“That would’ve been too conspicuous,” Steve replied, putting his bag in his bedroom. “If it’s too small here, you can stay in your tower by yourself.”

“I didn’t say that,” Tony said, poking around.

“That’s what it sounded like. And stop leafing through my stuff.”

“Just looking for evidence of a secret family,” Tony joked. Steve didn’t respond. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

“What?”

“You’re being grumpy,” Tony murmured as he put his hands around Steve’s waist.

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You don’t snap at me unless you’re grumpy.”

Steve looked at him blankly. “Did I snap?”

“Kinda.”

“Sorry,” he rested his head on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m just nervous.”

“Nothing to be nervous about. I’m sure your friends are great people.”

“They are... it’s just...”

“What?”

“Well, you’re... Tony Stark, you know?”

“Wait, hold on. Are you... are you worried your friends aren’t going to like _me_?” Steve didn’t respond. Bullseye. “Seriously? Are they super-uppity or something?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, but that's not an answer. You’re starting to make me nervous.”

“Maybe we should cancel tonight.”

“Steve, look at me,” Tony insisted, wrapping his arms around Steve's waist, and Steve reluctantly did as told. “What’s going on?”

Steve exhaled. “I just want this to go well.”

“Why? You know I’ll love you no matter what, right?”

“Maybe.”

“I _will_.”

“How do you know? You said it yourself – you know nothing about me. You could hate the real me—”

“I don’t actually think I could. I mean, I think I’m seeing the real you right now, right, and this morning, and every other time I’ve been with you. You’re you. And I love you. I don’t care if your friends are crazy or cultists or murderers—Well, actually maybe I care about the murderers part, but—”

Steve laughed despite himself. “Thank you, Tony.”

 

 

“So where did you meet these friends?” Tony asked as he watched Steve cook dinner.

“Old coworkers, mostly.”

“Oh? What did you do?”

“I used to... work for the government.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“I’m imagining you in a suit, going to work every day with a little briefcase. It’s weird,” Tony teased.

Steve’s face reddened. “Stop it!”

“I can’t. Too cute—“ There was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it,” Tony hummed as Steve struggled trying to shuffle pots around.

“You sure?”

“I will be _fine_ , Steve - I am a grown man,” he laughed as he made his way to the front door. He opened it to reveal a very surprised looking man.

“Am I... at the wrong apartment?” the man asked.

Tony flashed a grin and stepped aside to let him in. “Nope. Well, maybe, but probably not.” The man stepped awkwardly around Tony, eyeing him suspiciously. Tony just raised an eyebrow and followed him back into the kitchen.

“Steve, did you know Tony Stark is in your house?” the man asked. " _The_ Tony Stark?"

Steve chuckled. “Yeah. Tony, this is Clint.” Tony held out his hand and the man tentatively shook it.

“ _Why_?”

“I wanted him to meet you guys. We’re dating.”

Clint’s face held a look of incredulity. “ _What_?”

“Maybe there was something to this thing about your friends not liking me, huh?” Tony joked to Steve.

“Sorry,” Steve replied. “Clint, be nice. It’s our two-year anniversary that you all forced me to interrupt tonight.”

“Two _fucking_ years? Are you _shitting_ me? You’ve been dating Tony Stark for two whole years and you didn’t bother to say anything? Do you even know who he is?”

Steve frowned. “Can you at least _try_ to make him feel welcome?”

“I don’t know how I feel about this, Cap.”

“Cap?” Tony repeated in question.

Steve ignored him. “He’s more than what you see in papers. Give him a chance.”

“Sure, as long as he knows that if he breaks your heart, I will find him, and kill him,” Clint said with a shrug.

“Oh, so your friends _are_ murderers,” Tony laughed.

Steve huffed. “Tony, Clint is a marksman. Why don’t you show him those designs you showed me the other day?”

“Those’re classified—“

“Tony, I _swear_ —“

Another knock at the door. “I got it,” Clint said.

Tony leaned in close to Steve. “I think he likes me.”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh. “Sorry about that. They’re... suspicious.”

“Believe it or not, that’s not the first time I’ve gotten that reaction.”

“Did you know Cap’s dating Tony Stark?” they heard Clint say from the front door. Steve groaned.

“ _No_. _Way_ ,” the new visitor replied.

“I’m not even kidding. He’s in there right now! Go look!” Another man entered with Clint.

“Tony, this is Sam,” Steve said. “Sam, Tony.”

“Hi,” Tony flashed a million-dollar smile. Clint’s phone rang.

“Holy—Can I have your autograph?” Sam asked.

“Sure,” Tony said, grabbing a pen and signing the napkin Sam had held out to him.

“Sam, _please_. What do you need that for?” Steve asked with frustration.

“Hey!” Tony complained. His autograph was special, dammit.

“He’s _Tony Stark!_ ” Sam replied excitedly, as if that made any sense at all to Steve.

“It’s cool, Cap. I get that a lot too,” Tony said, grinning.

Steve frowned. “Don’t call me that.”

“Why not—“

“Hey, Cap? Tasha’s going to be a couple minutes late, but she’s on her way,” Clint said, hanging up his phone.

“Okay,” Steve acknowledged, stirring his food.

“Barton, look at this!” Sam said excitedly, showing Clint the signature.

“He calls you Cap. Why can’t I call you Cap?” Tony asked.

“He likes us more,” Clint teased. Before Tony could reply, he asked, “So how’d you two end up together anyway?”

“Funny story, actually,” Tony said with a devilish grin.

“I picked him up off of the side of the road,” Steve informed him.

“Yeah. I was testing an invention that didn’t go so well.”

Steve smiled. “And he got mad that I didn’t recognize him.”

“I mean, I’m _Tony_ _Stark_. Can you blame me? But then I thought, wow, it’s been ages since I’ve met anyone who didn’t know who I am. So I made a pass at him—“

Clint snorted. “ _Naturally_.”

Steve turned red. “Actually, we should stop telling this story.”

“No, no, I like this one,” Tony laughed. “So, I’m trying to hit on him, and it just goes right over his head. Completely.”

“Yeah, Cap has a tendency to be a little stunted when it comes to subtlety,” Clint teased. Steve shot him a glare.

“You gotta admit it’s true, though,” Sam said, grinning. Steve just sighed and went back to stirring his food.

“So I keep trying to hit on this guy, and I just get no response. Like, he’s completely uninterested. So I’m not sure if he just doesn’t like me or doesn’t like guys or just doesn’t get it. So I went straightforward and asked him if he wanted to go to a hotel, and you know what he did? He—“

“Tony, _please_ ,” Steve complained.

“He punches me straight in the face. Broke my nose.”

“I remember that in the news,” Sam said, and then turned to Steve. “That was _you_?”

“To be fair, what he said was... It was really crude,” Steve replied. "Really,  _really_ crude. It caught me off guard."

“Aw, you remember?” Tony asked grinning.

“Not your brightest moment, honey.”

“Tell me what I said.“

“No. No one wants to hear that. In fact, if you ever say that to me again, I’ll break your nose a second time.”

Tony snorted. “No you won’t.”

“Okay, lovebirds,” Clint rejoined. “So how did you start dating?”

Steve looked up to the ceiling as he tried to recall the events. “It gets less romantic from here on out – if it was even romantic in the first place. He threatened to sue me and took my phone number from my cell. Then, he harassed me through text constantly for the next month, until I caved and let him take me on a date.”

“ _So_ romantic,” Tony laughed. Steve rolled his eyes.

“Man, I need to start picking up billionaires off the side of the road,” Sam mumbled. “Why all the secrecy, though?”

“I just thought it would be easier,” Steve answered. There was another knock on the door and Clint stood up to get it.

“Personally, I’d _love_ to show him off to the world, but he doesn’t— Oh, _fuck me_ ,” Tony said, staring at one of the new arrivals. Natalie Rushman.

“Fancy seeing you here, Mr. Stark,” she replied with a raised eyebrow.

“Nat, did you know Cap’s dating Stark?” Clint asked.

“Oh, he _is_ , is he?” she answered with a knowing smile.

“What the hell?” Tony asked to no one in particular.

“Tony? You okay?” Steve asked curiously.

“You know her?”

“Yeah, this is Natasha. I used to work with her—“

“ _Natasha_?”

She held out her hand. “Natasha Romanov.” Tony took a minute to try to figure out what was going on.

“Do you two... know each other?” Steve asked.

“I worked at Stark Industries a while back undercover. Guess that’s blown now, though.”

Tony turned to Steve. “She’s an 'old co-worker?'”

“Yeah,” Steve responded, not seeing the problem.

Tony frowned. “What _exactly_ did you do? You said you worked for the government. Please don’t tell me you’re all super-secret agent spies like Coulson.” There was a thick silence. “ _Seriously_?”

“Tony, I—“

“You know, she disappeared right after we started dating. Were you _keeping_ _tabs_ on me?” Tony accused, obviously livid.

“No—Well, I mean, I _was_ —But I didn’t—“

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. “I just... I need some air,” he said and pushed his way out of the apartment.

He sat on the front stoop and sighed. He _hated_ SHIELD agents – they were always trying to get in his business and take his tech. Had Steve just been playing him all along? But Steve didn’t know that he knew Natasha. Was he just planning on introducing these people as old friends and never telling Tony they were agents? Or maybe he really _had_ been playing Tony all along. Pulling Tony close so that SHIELD could get their hands on the arc reactor technology. That was why Steve was so concerned about being private. He wasn't going to go public with Tony because once he got his hands on all of Stark Industries' secrets, he'd probably disappear. God, he was such an idiot. He’d fallen hard for Steve, and Steve was just taking him for a fool. He wondered if Steve picking him up off the side of the road wasn’t a coincidence after all—

“Tony,” Steve’s soft voice sounded out as he sat down and put a coat around Tony’s shoulders.

“You work for SHIELD.”

“I _used to_ ,” Steve said with a sigh. “See, this is why I thought this would be a bad idea.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“You hate SHIELD. I knew you’d freak out.”

“You still should’ve told me.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, it’s why I invited you here today to meet them. I didn’t want to keep any more secrets from you – I had just planned on telling you more... well, better.”

“You were keeping tabs on me for them. When you picked me up on the side of the road, did you—”

“I honestly had no idea who you were, Tony. I swear. It’s a bit more... complicated than that.”

“Enlighten me.”

“At that time, Natasha was in charge of keeping an eye on you. Undercover, I suppose. When I avoided your calls for the first month, that was really me, and when we went on our first date, that was also me. But SHIELD knew I had picked you up off the road, and they knew you were constantly trying to contact me. They also knew you were growing suspicious of Natalie Rushman, so they asked me to get involved with you more. Play along.”

“So you did?” Tony spat out unhappily, avoiding Steve’s gaze. “You played me.”

Steve sighed, looking down at his feet. “I won’t lie. I did, for a while at least.”

“God.”

“But then I fell for you and I didn’t want to hurt you, so... I decided to quit. There were other things that added up to it too, but I felt horrible for spying on you.”

Tony looked at him, surprised. “Wait, you quit for me?”

“Yes. And I don’t regret it for a second.”

Tony wiped his nose. “You should’ve told me. Then you wouldn’t have needed to quit, and I could use _you_ to mess with SHIELD—“

Steve laughed. “No. I’m not becoming a liaison for you to hack into SHIELD.”

Tony was quiet for a moment. “You _really_ love me? That’s why you’re with me?”

“Of course.”

“This isn’t some terrible trick?”

“No.” Steve kissed him. “Now come upstairs and meet my secret-agent friends?”

“Okay—but wait. Don’t you ever do this to me again, okay? I just can’t understand what would possess you to lie like this for so long!”

“I... I guess I thought if you knew who I was, you’d break up with me. You don’t pretend to like SHIELD agents.”

“I get that. I mean, early on, sure – we weren’t as close, but you know I love you now. You know I wouldn’t break up with you over that.”

“I... wasn’t so sure. I mean, I kind of thought it was all a dream. You’re a billionaire, and a genius – you could have anyone you want whenever you wanted them. As selfish as it may be, I didn’t want to give you reason to leave me.”

Tony shook his head vehemently. “No. No, no, no. You’ve got it all wrong here. If anyone’s going to be leaving our relationship, it’ll be you.”

“ _What_?”

Tony bit his lip. “Wait, that’s... not what I meant. Steve, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in years – maybe forever. Probably forever. I’d be a goddamned fool to let you go.”

Steve hugged him. “Thank you, Tony.”

“Cap,” a voice interrupted them. Natasha watched them with a raised brow. “Food’s gonna burn. You okay out here?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re fine,” he replied and turned to Tony. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

“Mind if I steal your boyfriend for a minute?” Natasha asked to Steve.

“…Alright,” Steve replied, glancing between them for a moment before retreating back inside.

She sat next to Tony. “You should know that our allegiances lie with each other before SHIELD. If Steve adores you, we do too.”

“Oh, so no more using my boyfriend as a spy?” Tony joked, but he was still kind of miffed about it.

“We honestly didn’t think anything was going to pan out of it. Otherwise, we never would’ve asked that of Steve. He didn’t go along with it for long, either. Stubborn as an ox, that one.”

“Right. He said that.”

“Take care of him. You hurt him, and we’ll hurt you back tenfold.”

“How pleasant. I don’t plan on hurting him, though. Had you people not called him, I was going to—you know what? Nevermind. It's none of your business.”

She raised a knowing brow. “Well, in any case, he’s a complicated soul. Once you think you know him, he peels off another layer. So if you _do_ propose to him—“

“I never said that—“

“Be patient with him. He has a hard time letting people in.”

“No kidding.”

“Even I don’t know what’s going on in his head sometimes.”

“I totally get that.”

“Anyway, I’m not going to miss a chance to eat his lasagna. Let’s go. I wanna hear more about what you said to him to get him to break your nose.”

“Nah. If I tell you, you might break my nose.”

“Fair point.”

 

 

Steve washed the dishes methodically after everyone left. They had certainly left a mess. Tony had slipped out to drop by the convenience store after discovering that Steve didn’t have the type of coffee he liked in the mornings. Steve was a little disgruntled about that, he had to admit. He was looking forward to unwinding from the get together with Tony and he had no patience to wait. The coffee could. Steve could wake up early and buy it before Tony even got up. He finished cleaning, lounged on the couch, and nodded off, only to be awoken by the smell of something burning. He shot up and hurried over to the kitchen, wondering if he left the oven on.

And then he froze.

“Tony.” His boyfriend was methodically lighting a couple of candles around the room. There was a cheap cake on the table, along with a tired-looking bouquet of roses.

“Happy anniversary,” Tony greeted with a half smile on his face.

Steve closed the distance between them and kissed Tony passionately. “I love you.”

He showered Tony with numerous kisses along his face and neck, while Tony spoke, “I love you too. So, how do you want to do this? Cake, then celebratory sex? Or sex and then celebratory cake? I was gonna do cake first, but you are kinda working me up here and—”

“Right. Cake first,” Steve said, reluctantly pulling away from Tony.

“You sure? I mean, you know I could go for sex first, and—“

“Cake.”

“Okay, well, if you insist. But can we do one thing before cake?”

“I’m not going to blow you before—“

“Jesus, I can’t believe I have to say this to you of all people, but stop ruining the moment.”

“What? _You_ were just talking about celebratory sex... what are you doing?” Steve asked as Tony got down on one knee. “Oh my god.”

“You know, your friends almost made you miss out on this,” Tony said as he fished a small box from his pocket. “I had something _super_ romantic planned, but this will have to do. Steve Rogers, will you—“

Steve took the ring and pulled Tony into a spine-crushing hug. “Yes, Tony, _yes_!”

“I was going to ask if you’d go for a threesome, but—“

“Tony, shut up!” Steve laughed through tears.

“Hey, you’re not crying, are you? Okay, no threesome. Marry me instead?”

Steve kissed him. “ _Yes_.”


End file.
